I can't love you
by headurohsnap
Summary: Ciel is no longer 12 years old,but 17.Over the course of 5 years Sebastian has fallen in love with Ciel,also Ciel has fallen in love with Sebastian.Neither one of them wants to admit it.Can a Demom love a Human,Can a Human love a Demon...I suck at thes.
1. Can I love a Demon

The second Fan Fic I'm working on.

I couldn't help myself sebas-chan and Ciel are just tooo cute together :"3

Its a little OoC,but I hope you enjoy it anyways.

Ch.1-Infaucuation

Sebastian was getting ready for another day of being a butler,he sighed.

"_Why am I still here?_

He said looking in his mirror,everyday started like this one. Wake up and be in denial,about what you wonder. The fact that he is in love with his 17 year old young master,Ciel. Its been 5 years since Sebastian had contracted with Ciel and they had yet to get revenge,somehow in that amount of time Sebastian had gone from only wanting Ciel soul to wanting his whole being.

He looked at himself in the mirror and finished his morning routine with this statement

"_I can't be in love with you"_

He knocked on his masters door "Bocchan,when your finished getting dressed. I have tea and cake awaiting you in the study"

"Yes,Sebastian"His master replied pushing the door open. Also in those 5 years Ciel had finally hit his sprout. The top of his head reached up to Sebastian's chin now,his hair was long enough that he no longer had to wear that god awful eyepiece. Ciel also looked more stunning than he had at the age of 12. Sebastian looked down at Ciel and could only smirk,which Ciel took as Sebastian being a smart-ass. They walked down the hallway of the mansion,to the study. Where he and Ciel spent a good amount of time during the year.

"Sebastian, I've heard there is another rapist on the lose. What is it this time?"Ciel sighed,seating in chair behind his desk.

"He doesn't have a face or name at the moment,but he is known for kidnapping young ladies."Sebastian said pouring the tea and cutting the cake.

"The next place,I believe he will strike is the ball."Ciel said,breathing in the scent of his tea.

"Japanese cherry blossom,what a unique flavor."Ciel put his cup down.

"Bocchan,the only way to get into the spring ball is to be a female with a date. Or be the date yourself"Sebastian smirked again. "I'll can the tailor and have another dress made for you."Sebastian left before Ciel could start to protest.

"ah_, I remember that night." _

Sebastian was lost in his own day-dream when he ran into Marlene. Ciel has made Marlene take off her glasses and be a good maid instead of a fool

"Marlene"Sebastian nodded

"Sebastian"she said and continued down the hall with a cart full of clothes to hang up,when Ciel turned 17 they all reveled there true purpose to him. Since then Ciel expected them to be good workers . Sebastian often had little to do anymore,so he spend most of the day picking on Ciel.

"Yes,Dress size 4. It is for my young masters fiancee"Sebastian hung up the phone, and tried to find odd jobs to keep himself busy. Pluto,the devil dog had ran up to him wanting to play before he could tell him to stop. Pluto had tackled Sebastian to the floor.

"Awoof,Awoof" Pluto barked happily

"Off,now"Sebastian commanded,standing up and leaving behind a very upset Pluto

"_I hate dogs"_

He thought shaking his head. He was walking outside the mansion now,he spotted a cat. He sat down and begun to play with it,thinking about how he had come to love his master so.

"_Bocchan" Sebastian ran to try and stop,the horrible thing that was happening to his young master. That damned angel was "purify" Ciel's past. Trying to rewrite what had happen to his parents._

"_You can't stop it, it won't change what is happening" William,one of the death god's had said._

_Sebastian hopeless watched as Ciel was fighting against the angel's purification. His master lashed out, he had manged to stop the angel. Sebastian ran and caught him as he fell. Sebastian was so full of worry and pride. He held Ciel close to him "Your always taking on more than you can" Sebastian said to him. Ciel looked up at him with the most emotion he has seen from the child. Whatever had happened had changed his master from then on. It also has changed Sebastian, in the moment he realized that he was in love with Ciel also he could never let Ciel find out._

Sebastian had lost track of time, the cat had left by now. He checked his pocket watch _11:30._

Time to prepare lunch.

The chef bard had cut and cooked everything all that was left was to plate and serve it.

"_i wish they were still useless" _

Sebastian sighed and blew his bangs. He brought Ciel his food, "Sebastian,were has the past 5 years gone?" Ciel said holding his head in his hands. Sebastian had noticed that with age Ciel had matured and trusted Sebastian with his inner most thought.

"Are you questioning you loyalty to the Queen,Bocchan" Sebastian said and sat on the couch in the study.

Sebastian could feel Ciel's glare. "I would never.."He began and faltered "I feel like she is preventing me from my goals" Ciel finally said laying his head on his desk.

"Most days I forget how old I am." Ciel said, Sebastian looked up and saw Ciel give him that sad little smile. In Sebastian's mind, he ran to Ciel. Held in his arms and made the broken smile go away.

In the real world Sebastian,walked over and poured more tea for his master.

"Bocchan, Do you believe its possible that the people who killed your parents. Have died already or" Sebastian knew he was crossing the line saying that,because Ciel jumped out of his chair to look Sebastian in the eye "They will only be gone,when I finally slay them with my own hands" Ciel almost

growled.

"I apologize,Bocchan." Sebastian said and left Ciel behind in the study.

After Sebastian closed the door,he leaned against it. Breathing deeply, he hit his head on the wall.

"_Ciel, I wish you would gave up this battle"_

Sebastian carried his master's dirty plate and cleaned it off.

Then returned to his own room, he found the book he had been reading

"_Romeo and Juliet...how fitting" _

He laughed to himself, and started reading the book.

"_This is the 3__rd__ time this week,that I've lost my temper with Sebastian"_

Ciel walked around to the couch in his study, now-a-days he didn't ask Sebastian to do the numerous tasks he used to. Ciel would dress and bathe himself, get files and reports. You could say Ciel was trying to put distance between himself and Sebastian. Ciel laid on the couch and looked at the ceiling,he sighed "_how did I ever let this happen" _He wondered. Ciel knew he couldn't denial it, over this past 5 years he had come to develop feelings for Sebastian. He needed someone to talk to,the only 2 people who knew about his darkest secret was Lizzy and Tanaka. Ciel left the study and went in search of Tanaka, "Bocchan" Tanaka greeted him. "Listen,Tanaka. I need to talk to you in my study" Ciel said blushed and kicking his foot.

"Ah,alright" Tanaka said following Ciel

Once Tanaka was inside he shut and locked the door. He on the floor against his desk. "Am I wrong?...Should I just give up?...Lizzy said you always knew it would happen,but do you think a demon is capable of feelings. Other than lust for my soul" Ciel said holding his head in his hands.

"I can't stand this,Tanaka. All I used to worry about is avenging my parents. Now every time I look at Sebastian I..I" Ciel stopped talking there looking up at Tanaka, he gave Ciel a sweet smile and patted his head.

"Do what you think is right Ciel. Nobody can tell you how to deal with this" After Tanaka said this he proofed back to chibi Tanaka "Ho,Ho,Ho,Ho"

"Great! thanks for the advice!"Ciel screamed and threw Tanaka out of his study. He slumped on the floor. "_At least Lizzy is coming from dinner,she will have better advice"_

Ciel started thinking about the day he started falling for his handsome butler.

_Ciel jumped from Sebastian's grip and smacked him."You saved me,but Lizzy is still in here. You have failed me!" He was reaching to hit Sebastian again,when Sebastian knelled in front of Ciel and said "As you have made Lizzy your 1st priority, I your butler have made you mine" When Sebastian finished saying that he looked up into Ciel`s eyes and smiled. A true smile. It had made Ciel heart stop, he swallowed "oh god" He thought_

Every since then Ciel could never get that smile or Sebastian out of his head. Over the years Ciel's infatuation had only grown. It was getting unbearable,all he wanted to do was tell Sebastian that he didn't care if all Sebastian wanted was his soul. Ciel was in love with him goddammit,and maybe he could convince a demon to love him.

"_Yea,right" _


	2. Beautiful Nightmare

"CIELL!",Sebastian had just opened the front door of the mansion and Lady Elizabeth busted through .Tackling Ciel,Sebastian could see the discomfort in his young masters face. Sebastian hoped that Ciel wouldn't notice the jealous look that formed on his face,because of how freely Elizabeth could be with Ciel.

"Lizzy,dinner is not complete yet. Won't you accompany me to my study"Ciel said with a slight bow.

"Mmhmm"She said and linked arms with him.

"Bocchan, I shall come get you and Lady Elizabeth. When the meal is ready" Sebastian said and bowed,then left Ciel and Elizabeth.

"_I wonder if Ciel is really in love with her now" _

Sebastian walked towards the kitchen thinking all sorts of obscene things,he wanted to do to get rid of Elizabeth. Even while preparing food he couldn't stop thinking about them,being together. Sebastian felt something he couldn't comprehend,he looked down at his hand and saw what it was. He had cut his hand right across the middle,Sebastian examined his hand. Even to the point were he called bard in to fix the rest of the meal.

Sebastian quickly went up to his room,and locked the door. He stared at the blood dripping from his hand,it entranced him.

Sebastian had lost arms,been shot,locked up and tortured. He had never caused an injury to himself by his own hand.

"_Has my obsession with Ciel actual become this bad"_

Sebastian finally broke out of his trance,cleaned up his hand,check to see that dinner was ready and finally went up stairs to get Ciel.

* * *

"Oh,Lizzy...its getting _worse" _Ciel said laying on the floor,a bad habit he had picked up.

"Ciel"Lizzy said and smile a pity smile at him, "I don't want him to just want my soul,I actual pretty happy that the queen keeps giving me. Shit assignments,because that's more time spend with Sebastian" Ciel said and looked up at her,she in return ruffled his hair.

"Ciel,I'm pretty sure. That Sebastian really cares for you" Lizzy said biting her finger nail.

Ciel sighed "I'm being selfish,aren't I? How are thinks between you and Alois" Ciel grimaced just thinking about it.

That night when he was still 13,Alois had thrown a masquerade ball. It had all been a plot to kill Ciel,but somehow Alois had taken a liking to Elizabeth on that night.

So when Ciel choose to tell Lizzy about being in love with Sebastian and the fact that Sebastian was a demon bent on eating his soul,She told him about her meetings with Alois.

In the end they both agreed to cancel their engagement,only himself,Lizzy,Alois and Tanaka. Knew about their arrangement,the others were in the dark. Until Ciel finally sorted out his feelings about Sebastian.

Ciel heard at knock at the door,then Sebastian's voice.

"Bocchan,dinner is now being served"

"Alright,Sebastian. We will be out in a moment."Ciel said and stood up. Brushed himself off,fixed his hair.

He heard Lizzy laugh "Trying to impress"

Ciel rolled his eyes "Whatever"

They walked down the stairs into the dining room.

Lizzy sat next to Ciel, "Tonight,we are having a Tuna tar-tar with an strawberry spinach salad. Followed by Lemon cake with a mint tea"Sebastian informed then and stand the plates in front of Ciel and Lizzy.

Ciel saw red on Sebastian's glove,it looked like blood. But he ignored it and ate his food.

"_This wasn't made by Sebastian" _

Ciel looked at the man he was in love with,who was currently entertaining Lizzy with a story about strawberries. There was something unsettling about the blood on his glove and the fact that Bard cooked dinner.

"Does something not satisfy you,Bocchan"Sebastian asked him,Ciel motioned for Sebastian to lean down.

"After dinner,when Lizzy is gone. I need to talk to you" Ciel whispered,Sebastian nodded. Then left Lizzy and Ciel alone to dine.

* * *

"_shit"_

Sebastian took off his glove to,and looked at his hand. It was still bleeding,Sebastian was at a lost.

All he could do,think about was his hand and that Ciel had noticed.

Sebastian licked his hand,hoping to stop the bleeding.

When he did this,his hand erupted in pain. Sebastian bite his lower lip to keep from crying out.

He slumped against the wall.

"_what the hell is happening. Human feelings,my hand,this pain"_

Sebastian had read this before,the more time a demon spends with humans,acting like a human and not having a soul to consume.

The more human-like the Demon will become.

Sebastian smirked "_What an absurd thought" _

He heard the door to the dining room began to open,he shot and opened the door all the way.

He saw Ciel and Lizzy, "Did you enjoy the meal,Lady Elizabeth?"Sebastian asked

"Yes,it was fantastic"She said and smiled "Sadly,I will be leaving for the night"

Sebastian and Ciel walked Elizabeth out to his coach.

When she was finally out of sight. Ciel smacked him.

"Let me see your hand!"Ciel screamed at him.

Sebastian stuck on his hand for Ciel to see. He could feel the look Ciel was giving him.

"This isn't like you"He heard Ciel say,with a tenderness he had never heard before.

Sebastian looked at Ciel,not only did his voice hold tenderness but his eyes did as well.

"Bocchan"Sebastian said,Ciel was biting his lip and avoiding looking up at Sebastian.

Sebastian used his index and middle fingers to make Ciel look up at him. This caused Ciel's hair to fall from his face,reveling his cursed eye. "Ciel"Sebastian whispered,Ciel turned slightly red. No human would have been able to notice it,in this darkness.

"Sebastian" Ciel was barely able to say,because Sebastian had closed the space between them.

Sebastian could feel Ciel heart-rate increase,Sebastian placed his blooded hand on Ciel's chest over his heart.

Sebastian lips were mere inches from his young masters,he felt light-headed.

How many times had dreamed about a moment like this to happen.

The world has spinning,time had stopped.

It was only Sebastian and his precious Ciel.

Then time snapped back into play,because Ciel had fainted in Sebastian's arms.

Sebastian smiled,a small,quick one. Then kissed Ciel's forehead.

"_This will all seem like a dream to him"_

Sebastian carried Ciel to his bedroom,changed his clothes,and put him to bed.

Ciel looked very young and peaceful,sleeping.

Sebastian blew out the candles near Ciel's bed post.

"Good night,Bocchan"

A/N:  
The salad i mentioned it very good  
Some interesting things are unfolding...we will have to see what happens.  
Please read and Review :D


	3. Sexual Tension

A/N:I know you guys have been waiting for this chapter.

So I made it longer than I normally do,and I added some fun scene between Ciel and Sebastian.

It feels as if this chapters is going a bit fast,I'm sorry for that.

I'll wanted to get this chapter out,and got a bit excited writing.

_Sebastian...hurry up...kiss me you idiot...Wait...Don't go..._

Ciel shot out of his bed,wondering how he even got there. When the last thing he remember was auguring with Sebastian,and then Sebastian holding him. He grabbed his head,he felt hungover. Even though he hadn't consumed any alcohol that he could remember.

As he sat there,he things slowly started coming back to him.

Sebastian had cut his hand cooking food,it hadn't healed. To the point were is was bleeding through his glove,Ciel then confronted Sebastian after Lizzy had left. It ended with Sebastian holding him,and what Ciel had assumed was he fainted.

From the heat,and desperate need for Sebastian to take him;then and there.

He also assumed that after he fainted,Sebastian prepared him for bed. Just like when he was younger,it gave him chills.

Just thinking about the fact the Sebastian had been touching his body last night.

_Damn,I just had to go and faint. Stupid,amazingly,angelic demon.,_Ciel thought getting to change and prepare for today.

For today,he was meeting with Scotland yard to discuss. The rising problem of this rapist,who was kidnapping young girl.

Sebastian was currently,punching trees in the mountains. Seeing if he could feel the pain of it,the cut on his hand had stop bleeding.

But it still hadn't heal,it was actual taking..._time._

Which was a terrifying thought to him, as he swung back and hit a tree and heard a sickly snap.

He looked at his hand in disbelief,but he had seen broken bones before.

He hadn't just broke but shattered his hand. He ran back to the mansion,faster than he ever had to wrap his hand. Before he put his glove on over it. Then quickly prepared breakfast and tea,before he heard Ciel ringing the bell,to signal him to come up.

Sebastian went up stairs,to his precious young master's study.

He knocked on the hard oak wood door,

"Bocchan?"he said,pushing the door open. To see Ciel,laying on the floor again.

With papers all over the place, "Bocchan? Someone is feeling nostalgic" Ciel joked,jumping up to grab a cup of tea.

Sebastian watched as Ciel smelled it, "Green tea...with Honey?"Ciel guessed

Sebastian smiled,it took Ciel's breath away.

"Your absolutely correct"Sebastian said "You are aware,that today you must meet with Scotland yard"

"Yes,those idiot can't get anything done. I have to do everything" Ciel said,showing some of the bratty twelve that he still had.

Ciel then turned to smile at Sebastian,which took Sebastian by surprise.

"Alrightly then"Ciel said and stuffed a bagel.

"Let's get going"He said with a hard shallow.

Sebastian smiled slightly,then followed behind Ciel was they walked down the stairs,out the front door,and down the sidewalk towards Scotland yard.

Ciel was rambling on about the uselessness of the police force,while Sebastian hand was in agonizing pain.

Ciel and Sebastian stopped in front of the scene of another crime,a small girl with black hair and green eye was shaking on the ground.

_Yet,another victim of these raping's,_Ciel thought

While Ciel talked to the Major,Sebastian tried moving his hand.

He found it impossible,this wasn't good.

He was extremely tense and nervous now,also jumping on every person that walked by.

Hoping Ciel wouldn't noticed he excused himself,so that he could burn off some energy.

Sebastian walked in the alleyway,it was move like pacing.

"Aw,Sebby. What do we have here?"

Sebastian really didn't want to deal with the man,that the voice belonged too.

Nevertheless he turned around to see Grell,the blood-red reaper.

"Yes?"Sebastian said coldly,knowing that is would only turn-on the reaper.

"So cold,as always"Grell said,hanging on Sebastian. It earned him a punch in the face,Sebastian was definitely not in the mood for Grell's fan girl attitude.

Sebastian started walking away

"Sebby"He wined

"I know was wrong with you"Grell said with a Cheshire smile,causing Sebastian to whip back.

And push Grell against the wall.

"Oh sebassss"Grell squeaked

"You better tell me now"Sebastian said menacingly

"You need to hurry up and eat Ciel's soul"Grell said plainly

Those words struck something inside of Sebastian,and without even realizing it he had slammed Grell into the wall.

Grell eyes widened and Sebastian dropped him to the ground,And covered his face. Up until now,he had to much adrenaline running through him to notice his hand.

But as soon as he had let Grell go,it was burning with pain.

Sebastian fell to the floor with a growl,he was going insane.

Finally the blood-red reaper responded "Your in love with that kid"

Sebastian didn't deny nor confirm it,but his back went tense when Grell said it.

Which was all the proof he needed.

"I thought so"Grell said,but inside he was writing Ciel's name on his list of people to kill.

"I'm a pitiful excuse for a demon"Sebastian sighed,then he got up,dusted himself off and walked out of the alley way.

He had been there to long,and knew Ciel would be looking for him.

"Ah,Sebastian. I've been looking for you,were going home now"Ciel said and started on the way back to the mansion.

Sebastian spoke "Bocchan,do you want to get away for a while"

Where on earth would we go"Ciel replied lazily,he could use a day-off.

"To the river,go searching for the white deer"Sebastian said,with a smile.

Ciel laughed,an orgasmic sound to Sebastian.

"Let's go"Ciel cheered,and as soon as the words came out of Ciel's mouth.

Sebastian had scooped him end and ran all the way to the river already.

It had left Ciel breathless,"Sebastian! You idiot. We don't have the proper clothes"

"To do what,Ciel"Sebastian said

Hearing his name in Sebastian's mouth,always gave him chills.

"To swim!"Ciel cried

Sebastian grinned,and began to undress himself until he was only in his undergarments.

Ciel ate up every inch of this sight that he could,from his broad chest,to the flatness of his slightly toned stomach and the it indented near the hip.

Sebastian coughed,and Ciel blushed a deep red.

Sebastian snaked behind Ciel and whispered in his ear "Your turn,Bocchan"

"You can't watch"Ciel cried,his face as red as Grell was.

Sebastian agreed and stood behind a tree,but with his sight. He could still see Ciel,the younger boy's body had matured nicely.

His chest was a bit wider,his stomach had lost its baby fat.

Sebastian licked his lips,in lust. Then he stopped himself,when he realized it was human lust and not demon lust.

"You can come back now"Ciel said,covering himself and looking embarrassed

Sebastian smirked and picked Ciel up,causing the younger boy's face to heat up once again.

Then Sebastian jumped into the water,it was warm.

Which was a pleasant surprise to both Ciel and Sebastian.

Ciel laid on his back,and started to float down the river.

Sebastian mocked his motion,it was almost a peaceful thing.

"Sebastian...Do you think I will ever avenge me parents"Ciel said

"With me by your side,of course you will"Sebastian replied

Ciel felt his heart fly,feeling a bit bold he asked.

"Sebastian,do you have to eat my soul after we accomplished my goal?"

Sebastian didn't response right away,Ciel cursed himself for asking it.

He swam over to the edge of the River and got out to sit on the side.

Ciel was clearly upset,making Sebastian wonder if they felt the same way about each other.

Sebastian sighed and floated over to Ciel "I...do not know" He said honestly

Ciel refused to looked at Sebastian,he felt dejected and just wanted to go home.

"Ci...Bocchan?"Sebastian said,avoiding eye contact.

"Take me home"He ordered,so they were back to this again.

Sebastian got out off the water,and picked Ciel up except this time it wasn't as joyous.

There were home in a flash,Sebastian had put Ciel in his room.

Then proceeded to his own.

After,Sebastian had left through the door Ciel jumped onto his bed sighing.

_Can we never have a good day,it always goes back to the fact that I'm human and he is a Demon. Once I've reached my goal he will eat my soul and move on. End of story._

By now Ciel could feel hot tear going down his face,how could he be so affected by one person/demon.

He stood up and paced the room,without realizing it had become late.

His stomach growled,Ciel sighed remembering he had only had breakfast today.

Sucking it up,he made his way down to Sebastian's room,and knocked on the door.

When Sebastian opened his door,he saw Ciel standing there kicking his foot.

"Yes,Bocchan?"

Ciel didn't answer but pushed his way in,he had never entered Sebastian's room before.

He took everything in,it was plain with a bed and stacks of books everywhere.

Who knew Sebastian read this much, "Bocchan?" Sebastian said again,unsure of why Ciel was there.

Ciel looked up at Sebastian,seeing him in a plain white shirt and his boxers.

The sight enthralled Ciel,and he himself couldn't remember why he had come here.

"Ummmm,the dance is tomorrow. Have you heard anything about my..."Ciel said,trying to make conversion.

"Yes,it will arrive in the morning."Sebastian replied,this was the perfect chance for Sebastian.

"It there any thing else you need?" He asked Ciel

"If only I knew"Ciel replied

He crossed the room,to stand in front of Ciel and wrapped his arms around his master.

"Sebastian,what?"Ciel said struggling against his grip,but then relaxed finding he liked the feeling of being in Sebastian arms.

It felt warm,safe,like everything that was every with him was fading away.

"Ciel,there is many things you do not now."Sebastian said,into his hair.

"Then,tell me"Ciel said.

"It would take a life time"Sebastian responded

"Try your best"Ciel ordered

He could feel Sebastian smirk "Yes,my lord"

Sebastian looked down at Ciel,seeing the look in his eyes.

They were just begging to be loved,and Sebastian was more than happy too fulfill their wish.

Sebastian closed the space between them again,making it so that his lips and Ciel's were merely inches away again.

Ciel could fill his plush racing again,but he was determined to stay conscious this time. He opened his mouth to order Sebastian again,but found it impossible because it was covered with Sebastian.

Ciel nearly gasped,he had been waiting five year for this.

He could feel Sebastian smirking against his lips,they tasted like moonshine.

Sebastian picked up Ciel and set him on the small bed,all the sexual tension had been driving then crazy.

As like nature Ciel wrapped his arms around Sebastian neck,causing Sebastian to have to lay on top on him.

Sebastian groaned,then broke the kiss.

"I can't do this"Sebastian said

Ciel sighed,"Can I stay in here tonight?"

Sebastian grinned "You don't have to ask"

Ciel smiled as Sebastian laid down next to him and pulled him closer.

_At least we can have this moment. Even if its just for tonight.,_Ciel thought curling up into Sebastian chest.

_A demon can never love human._ Ciel told himself before falling asleep in the arms of the one he loved so dearly.

A/N:finallyyyyy! Sebastian maned up :DDD

The little scene in the rived didn't flow as smoothly as I wanted it to,sorry!

****hides in corner****

Anyway's I hope you enjoyed this chapter.

Loves always,Heather 3


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